Tuesday was my 2-year wedding anniversary. This was the first year that things went from changing to changed. My new name isn’t new anymore. We’re not newlyweds. We’re just married. Happily married. Yet, if this were a movie it would have faded to black a year or two ago. The sequel might have started nine months later, but we’re not sticking to that script*. So now what?
After 7 years with the same company, I am switching jobs. This was my first job after graduating college and now I’m taking a big step in a different direction. It has been strange to have to consider someone else when making such a huge decision about my life and my future. I am naturally spontaneous and independent. He thinks things through all the way. I make decisions impulsively and emotionally. He considers all the facts. Intricately. Completely. Relentlessly. Learning to embrace our differences is what makes our marriage work. I am much more secure in my decision to switch jobs knowing that I have his support. It’s like having a fact-checker for my decisions.
That being said, I am freaking out. I feel like I’m going through a breakup with my job. Like any other breakup, I have the next better thing lined up already, but I still have a lot of feelings. It’s scary and uncomfortable, yet I’m excited and happy. I know I’m making the right decision, but I’m constantly questioning myself. I’m sure that, like looking back on an old relationship, hindsight will provide clarity. I will always be grateful for the things I learned and the people I met, but I know it’s time. Unlike a breakup, I am lucky enough to have someone by my side to support me through the good and the bad of this major transition. I am so grateful for him, even if the idea of having to involve him in my decision-making makes me squirm.
*People often want to hear more about the fact that we don’t want to have kids. I hope to write a future post about it, but thus far I can’t think of anything else to say on the topic.
wife fumble 